I want to ride my bicycle

  I was on my way into my local Canadian Tire store this morning, and I  saw a woman who looked familiar. After a moment I recognised her. It was a girl I went to high school with, walking out with her three sons in tow.
  "Hi," she said. "Do you know anything about bikes?" I allowed that I do know some little bit about bikes, and inquired as to what she wanted to know.
   It seems she had just purchased a shiny new bike for her eldest son. He was proudly perched on it as we spoke: sparkly blue paint job, gleaming chrome trim, black stunt pegs protruding from the rear axles. She explained that she had bought him a different bike the previous day, but upon getting it home, it was nixed by Dad. Today she had returned the first bike, and this was the second choice. Her question was, did I think this bike was likely to meet with Dad's approval.
   I smiled a little bit, and bit my tongue. Inside I was telling her that she wasn't really asking me if I knew anything about bikes, she was asking me if I knew anything about her husband. I have never met the man. All I said was, "I don't think I can be of any help with that."
   As we parted company, I couldn't resist. I said, "if Dad doesn't like this one, maybe he should come with his son to pick out the next one." The response I got from both my friend and her son led me to believe that that would not be happening any time soon.
   It is to weep.

tags: Misc.

Don't show me your breasts

   So, I'm browsing through my news feeds, and I come across this article: 'Breast' cover gets mixed reaction - Yahoo! News. Well, if there's one way to get my attention, the word 'breast' is it. The article is somewhat surprising in that the referred to breast (nipple occluded by a nursing infant) appeared on the cover, not of some tawdry girlie mag, but of babytalk magazine.

"I was SHOCKED to see a giant breast on the cover of your magazine," one person wrote. "I immediately turned the magazine face down," wrote another. "Gross," said a third.

These readers weren't complaining about a sexually explicit cover, but rather one of a baby nursing, on a wholesome parenting magazine — yet another sign that Americans are squeamish over the sight of a nursing breast, even as breast-feeding itself gains more support from the government and medical community.

Babytalk is a free magazine whose readership is overwhelmingly mothers of babies. Yet in a poll of more than 4,000 readers, a quarter of responses to the cover were negative, calling the photo — a baby and part of a woman's breast, in profile — inappropriate.

   It really isn't that surprising a response, when you think about it. We are, after all, talking about a publication distributed in the United States, where they are only a couple of years shy of putting pant legs back on pianos. I would have thought the negative response might be much higher, seeing as we are told that 75% of Americans believe in some form of God, and modifying great works of art.
   I was about to click through to the next entry when one line, halfway down the article caught my eye:

Ash, 41, who nursed all three of her children, is cautious about breast-feeding in public..."I'm totally supportive of it — I just don't like the flashing," she says. "I don't want my son or husband to accidentally see a breast they didn't want to see."

   Yeah, I had to read that again, too. In case you can't believe your eyes, let me reassure you, it really does say:

"I don't want my son or husband to accidentally see a breast they didn't want to see."

   A breast they didn't want to see. Like such a thing exists. I mean, we're men. We'll get our willies sneaking a peek at the withered, pancake, pygmy breasts in National Geographic if it's the only thing we can find. I can guaran-damn-tee you if a young woman on the street pops one out while we're walking by, we wanna see.

   Ok, so that's flippant. If I happen to walk by a woman on the street who's breast feeding, I'm not going to crane my neck for a better view or anything. I'll probably glance her way, realise what's happening, and look away, out of respect for her and her child. If I happen to see a flash of nipple, big deal. It's not like it's something I haven't seen before.
   Then again, I am a forty one year old married guy who's seen his share of breasts, both in mother nurturing child and...uh...other situations. I'm not some teen or twenty-something geek-a-zoid still dreaming of getting to second base one day for whom a flash of lactating breast would be the highlight of the month.
   But my outward circumspection doesn't change the fact that I'm still walking down the sidewalk, smiling to myself, and thinking, "heh, heh, heh...boobies!"

   My title for this entry? Hell, that's just me investing a dime in the hopes that reverse psychology crap really works.

tags: Boobies!, Misc.

What's the dilly-O?

   I have been experiencing an unprecedented spike in traffic over the last couple of days. Not the three hundred plus hits per day I received during the week I was guest editor last year, but still. As of nine thirty this evening I had received one hundred and twenty five unique visitors today. More than three times my average thirty five to forty hits per day. Yesterday I received one hundred and seventy seven unique visitors and two hundred and eighteen page views. The infuriating thing is, I have no idea why.
   My statcounter.com hit counter, due to AOL journals restrictions on using java code, does not show me any referral stats. I don't know what site my visitors are arriving from. I can only assume that somewhere, someone with a high volume of traffic has linked to me, but I do not know who that might be.
   If you are a first time visitor, drop me a line, and let me know where you came from. Please?

tags: Misc., Blogging

It's Tuesday

   CarnivAOL is here again. Well, not really here, as such. More like over there.

tags: CarnivAOL

Nick, nick, nickety-nick

   Via Dan, I have the latest and greatest silly list meme on teh internets.

Five things...

...in my refrigerator.
1) Strawberries
2) Beer
3) Cream cheese
4) Maple syrup
5) A box of Arm & Hammer baking soda

...in my closet.
1) A Minolta X-700 camera outfit with 28mm, 50mm, 70-210mm lenses, motor drive, flash unit, tripod, and various and sundry accessories.
2) A duffel bag containing pairs of curling shoes, grippers and gloves, a stop watch, and a baseball cap.
3) A rack containing about fifty ties, of which I have worn one in the past year.
4) The suit that goes with that tie.
5) Tom Cruise.

...in my purse.
1) nothing
2) nothing
3) nothing
4) the kitchen sink
5) nothing

...in my vehicle.
1) A tarpaulin
2) Sawdust
3) Entrenching tools
4) A big old bag of leaves
5) A set of industrial bolt clippers
"...if you're stumbling home, after the dance,
oh my God, you haven't got a chance..."

   I know, none of you got that last bit. Don't worry about it, you never had a chance.

tags: Memes

Weekend Assignment #121: This One Goes To Eleven!

Weekend Assignment #121: Do whatever you want, so long as it somehow involves the number 11. Memories of being eleven, lists that have eleven positions on them, collections of eleven similar objects -- hey, whatever you want. As long as the number eleven is somehow involved, it's all good. For those of you thinking about being sneaking and using binary notation: no "11, base 2." We're talking binary number 1011 here, pal.

Extra credit: Grab a book, open it to page 11, and write out the 11th sentence.

My favourite uses of the number eleven:

1) The title of this assignment, "this one goes to eleven," is, of course, a quotation from the most excellent 'mockumentary/rockumentary,' This Is Spinal Tap. Starring Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer, the "folks" who brought you A Mighty Wind, Best In Show, and Waiting For Guffman, Spinal Tap is a mock documentary about a fictional British heavy metal group billed as the loudest rock band in the world. If you are a fan of any of the other three mentioned films, or were a heavy metal headbanger in your youth, you owe it to yourself to check out this film. It also spawned the quote that I find best describes this journal: "treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."

2) J. R. R. Tolkien's epic tale, The Lord of the Rings, begins with the hobbit Bilbo Baggins celebrating having reached the grand old age of 111, or, as the hobbits call it, eleventy-one. That is so delightfully quaint that I immediately adopted it. I first read the trilogy almost thirty years ago, and have not used the expression "one hundred and eleven" since. In fact, I often substitute the phrase "eleventy-one" in place of multiple exclamation marks, you know, for fun.

3) Canadian band Finger Eleven's website has organised the band's bio page into lists of eleven things, including where the band name came from. There are some music samples to listen to on the band's music page, if you are interested.

4) One of my favourite rock bands has always been Pink Floyd. I was saddened to hear about the recent passing of one of the founding members, Syd Barret. Here is a list of eleven reasons why Syd Barret was cool.

5) I do this blog thing because I enjoy writing. I suspect many of you are the same. In the spirit of that, here is a list of eleven of the most commonly violated rules of writing, grammar, and punctuation.

6) Pictures at Eleven is the name of the first solo album released by Robert Plant after the demise of Led Zeppelin. I remember buying it almost immediately after it came out in 1982. Although it did not enjoy any significant commercial success, I quite enjoyed it. In fact, it was one of my favourite albums for a while. I must remember to add it to my list of old vinyl albums I need to replace on CD.

7) There are eleven players per team on the field during a normal soccer match. I am coaching my son's house league soccer team. With a roster of eighteen boys, scheduling even and fair substitutions can be all encompassing, to the point that I have actually missed seeing a significant portion of the goals scored by my team because I have had my head down studying my clipboard. I am exceptionally proud of the fact that my guys are currently in first place in our division (we are Royal Blue/France).

8) Schoolhouse Rock. Who doesn't remember fondly the educational musical vignettes that used to be shown between our favourite cartoons on Saturday morning? The Good Eleven was a segment of the Multiplication Rock series. "Eleven almost makes multiplication fun." I love the use of the word 'almost' there.

9) Here is a web page representation of a hydrogen atom. The electron is represented as a single pixel. That makes the proton a thousand pixels across. If your monitor displays 72 pixels per inch, the entire page will be eleven miles across. Wow! Science is so freaking cool, isn't it?

10) I have always been intrigued by Arthurian legend and lore. I am still trying to muscle my way through Le Morte Darthur, by Sir Thomas Malory. Here is a website called the Camelot Project. It is a part of the University of Rochester, in New York state, and features a collection of Arthurian texts, images, bibliographies and basic information. On that website can be found the entire text of a book called Sir Gawain: Eleven Romances and Tales. The language has not been modernised at all. It is even harder slogging that the version of Malory I am reading.

11) Some things I noticed while Googling the word eleven:

-There are a large number of bands that have the word eleven in their name.
-There are a large number of Christian organisations and websites with the word eleven in their name.
-There seems to be a link to a website about the movie Ocean's Eleven on almost every page of Google results for the word eleven.
-I only Googled the word eleven. I did not Google the numeral 11.
-One of the pages I came across was titled The Eleven Satanic Rules Of The Earth, by Anton Szandor LaVey. I was going to include it here, simply because I thought it would piss people off, but I changed my mind.
-Oops.

Extra Credit: I have been rereading the novel The Last Light of the Sun, by Guy Gavriel Kay, and participating in a group reading and discussion of the book over at Brightweavings.com. Here is the eleventh sentence on page eleven:

The land his father had bought with looted gold (mostly from the celebrated raid in Ferrieres twenty-five years ago) was on the other side of the village, south and west.

Here endeth the eleven squared edition of John Scalzi's weekend assignment. What better a way to end than in the way we began? Here is another quotation from This Is Spinal Tap:

"I  don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you."
--David St. Hubbins

tags:Memes, Weekend Assignment

"Natural" medicine headline.

British doctors issue cancer warning over Chinese liver tonic.

   Offered without comment. I mean, what more is there to say?

tags: Skepticism

Thursday and Thursday

   It being Thursday once again, and two weeks have passed since the last such announcement, let me inform you of the publication of the latest edition of The Skeptics' Circle. The Thirty-ninth edition has been posted at the blog Mike's Weekly Skeptic Rant. "Jinkies, that's keen!"

   The Thursday of every second week has also become the regular time for me to solicit entries for CarnivAOL, my own little blog carnival exclusively for AOL and AIM journals. Please send me a link via e-mail to the journal entry you would like to submit. Get them to me before Sunday at midnight for inclusion in this week's edition. Dawn, I haven't forgotten that I owe you two spots this week.

tags: , CarnivAOL

"My" Space

   I have, so far, resisted creating a My Space account. Until today.

   Here's what happened. I was visiting a My Space page, and wanted to find out more about the person. Of course virtually any link on a My Space page you click on takes you to a screen telling you that you must be a My Space member in order to view that information, and inviting you to log in, or register.
   Up till now, I have always clicked away at that point, because who really cares what Bobbys2hrthunnybear is doing these days anyway. Today, though, I was really interested in the person's page I was at, and decided to take the plunge and register for my very own My Space account. I filled in the form and submitted it. And got back a message that the e-mail address I entered was already in use by a My Space account.
   "That's odd," I thought. I was pretty darn sure I had not previously created a My Space page. Still, one never knows what things might have transpired late at night with a couple of nightcaps under one's belt. I tried logging into the My Space account using my e-mail address, and my common password (I try to have all of my online accounts under one password for ease of use). No dice. I tried a couple of older passwords that I no longer use. Nope. Finally, I clicked on the "duh, I forgot my password" link, and received a message telling me my password had been dispatched to me via e-mail.
   Sure enough, in short order I received an e-mail from My Space containing a combination of letters and numbers that bore no resemblance to any password I have ever used, or would ever consider using. Curious, I typed that password into the box, and logged in to "my" My Space account.
   I put the word my in quotations because the account was not, of course, mine. Someone, named Paul Little, in Houston, Texas, had created a My Space account for themselves, using my e-mail address. I can only assume that they mistyped their own (very similar to my) address by accident.
   What did I do? I changed the password, and edited the profile information to reflect me, rather than him. I hear your gasp of incredulous consternation. How could I have done such a thing? Easy. The account was under my e-mail address. Therefore, it was my account. I simply corrected the erroneous information.
  What else would I do?

tags: Misc.

Breakfast television

   I have made several entries about a local morning television show I watch. I have talked about their interviews with homeopathic and naturopathic medical practitioners, and most recently, with a local psychic. I have been rather cutsie about the identity of that show, neglecting (deliberately) to name it, and the announcers referred to. Thinking about it this morning, I have decided to change that decision. I will explain my reasoning in a bit.
   The television show in question - if you are local to the Toronto area, and have ever flipped through the channels between six and nine AM on a weekday, you have probably already guessed - is called Breakfast Television, hosted by Kevin Frankish, Frank Ferragine, Jennifer Valentyne, and until recently, Liza Fromer. On local station CityTV, it has been a staple of Toronto television for years, and mixes news, traffic, and weather reports with human interest stories and interviews.
   What changed my mind? The host who was pregnant had her baby. Liza Fromer gave birth to a baby boy on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - my most hearty congratulations to her and her husband. When I heard the news, yesterday, my first thought was about the psychic who had predicted she would give birth on July first or second. I sent an e-mail to the show:

17/07/2006
To: BT@citytv.com
Subject: Liza Fromer and May Miller

Dear Kevin and the BT team,
   Congratulations to Liza Fromer and her husband on the birth of their son. I wonder if anyone remembers the predictions made approximately four weeks ago by Toronto "psychic" May Miller on your television show. Certainly she counts on the fact that they will not.
   She predicted that Liza would have her child one week early, on July first or second. She was wrong by two full weeks. In addition, she predicted that Germany would win the World Cup, and they did not even appear in the final game. Wrong again. And, to date, it appears that Jennifer Lopez is still not pregnant.
   So far, May Miller is batting 0 for 3 on her "psychic" predictions, and I am keeping track of the others she made, which will not be able to be evaluated for some months yet. Will you mention May's record to date on air, or will you continue to support and promote charlatans who fraudulently take people's money in return for absolutely nothing?

Regards,

Paul Little

   I have, to date, received no response. In fact, I have sent several e-mails to the show over the last few months. Here they all are:

1/3/2006
To: BT@citytv.com
Subject: Attn. Kevin Frankish. Re:Astrology

Kevin,
   As a regular viewer of Breakfast television, I would very much like to see some more honest reporting on things like astrology, palmistry, and psychics. Your guest of this morning is just one more of a long list of fraudsters who take advantage of people. For more information about the actual validity of Astrology, look here: http://skeptico.blogs.com/skeptico/2005/02/what_do_you_mea.html. I understand that the silly woo-woo stuff may interest many of your viewers, but would you report news stories that were patently false because you thought people would find them interesting? Should your personal interest stories be any less honest?
   I invite your comments on this issue.

Paul Little


4/4/2006
To: BT@citytv.com
Subject: Attn:producers

Why was your guest wearing a stethoscope around his neck?

   This is an important distinction. A "naturopathic doctor" is not a medical doctor, and is not licensed to provide actual health care. Your guest was wearing a stethoscope around his neck to add the appearance oflegitimacy that he did not actually rate. This is disturbing to me.
   His advocation of acupuncture goes against recent, peer reviewed, clinical studies that show acupuncture has no efficacy beyond that of placebo. I missed exactly what it was that he was injecting into Frank's arm, but was an actual medical doctor consulted before that procedure was undertaken? If not, the television station has placed itself into a precarious legal position should there be complications.
   This is dangerous stuff. Naturopathic, homeopathic, and faith based healers tacitly encourage people to eschew traditional medical treatment in favour of untested, and usually useless, but always expensive alternative treatments. While I would prefer to see CityTV stop airing shows with questionable guests, at the least you should air a strongly worded and highly visible disclaimer telling people to always check with a real medical doctor prior to taking any alternative therapy.

Paul Little


19/6/2006
To: BT@citytv.com
Subject: Homeopathic "Doctor"

Dear Liza, Kevin, and the BT producers,
   I would like to see you present a more balanced view on alternative medicine on your show. Today's show marked the third time in the last several weeks Breakfast Television has featured a "Doctor" who practiced Homeopathy and/or Naturopathy. You have consistently presented the things they say as fact, and many of your viewers may believe that there is some validity to the practice of Homeopathic and Naturopathic medicine based on your program.
   It is possible that you do not have a strong understanding of exactly what the practice of homeopathic medicine entails. I invite you to read this article explaining in brief homeopathy's history and practices. Serial delusions.
   One of the ways people defend homeopathic and naturopathic therapies is by pointing out that they are safe. Even those critical of them may consider them harmless. It is important to understand that alternative therapies that are ineffective are not harmless. For more illumination, I offer you this article from a doctor involved in cancer research. Respectful Insolence (a.k.a. "Orac Knows"): The Orange Man.
   Presenting alternative therapies without skeptical comment encourages people to seek them out instead of traditional medicine. Sure, today's segment was about allergies, but allowing that guest to present his unevidenced claims without challenge allows your viewers to place one foot onto a slippery slope that might, in future, lead to them seeking alternativeremedies for more serious conditions. For more information on naturopathic medicine, you might have a look at this website: Naturowatch.  
   The station might want to consider the legal ramifications of a viewer, based on your recommendations, seeking out alternative therapies for a serious illness, and having that result in a more serious condition, or even death.
   I see that tomorrow you have a psychic scheduled. Kevin and Liza claimed today that they were going to approach him from a skeptical viewpoint. We shall see if they stick to that tomorrow. Will the show do a follow up in future to check his results?

Regards,

Paul Little


20/6/2006
To: BT@citytv.com
Subject: re:Psychic.

Attn: Liza,
   You said yesterday that you were going to express skepticism in your segment with the psychic today. You did no such thing. You were entirely credulous. Kevin also expressed the desire to ask the psychic skeptical questions, and he wasn't even included in the segment. I am disappointed.
   Do you plan to post the predictions on the website so they can be checked later?

Paul Little

   I have never received any response from the hosts or producers of Breakfast Television. They have not, to my knowledge, made any statements of disclaimer about the subjects they present. It is clear that they do not care.
   As far as I am concerned this is irresponsible behaviour. They are in a position of trust in the community. People think, "if they show it on TV, it must be real." Certainly, going to a Naturopathic or Homeopathic medical practitioner for vitamins and other basic health maintenance seems harmless enough even if the vitamins or remedies actually do nothing. It is not, however, harmless at all. By not examining the claims of these people skeptically, the television station is giving them a tacit seal of authenticity that they may not merit. By allowing people to believe that it is OK to see these practitioners for "vitamins" they imply that it is also OK for people to see them for other, more serious ailments as well. Ailments for which these practitioners will glady provide remedies (for a fee) that do nothing. People's health is being endangered by the mere fact that the media do not report on these things honestly.
   The same television station runs an ombudsman segment on their evening news program in which they expose renovators who defraud the public by convincing people they need expensive home repairs that are actually unnecessary, or garages that overcharge people for unnecessary automobile repairs, or car dealers who sell cars that have been previously written off after serious accidents without full disclosure. Yet they will not apply the same level of protection to those members of the public who watch their morning show.
   In fact, they are complicitous in promoting charlatans and fraudsters who take money from people in return for exactly nothing: medicines that are no more than sugar pills, and psychic predictions that do not come true. Shame on you, Breakfast Television. Shame on you, CityTV.

tags: Skepticism,