I would be a cunning linguist

   First of all, sorry about the title. I couldn't resist.
   It seems I've been 'tagged' by Lissa of stuffandjunk to participate in one of those despised Internet 'meme' thingies called, "if I could be..." It goes like so: pick five things off the attached list and write about them. Then, tag three other bloggers to participate next. I shall do my best to contribute to the further proliferation of this game in a manner befitting my peers who have participated, or are currently participating. I'll do better than the title, I promise. Here is the list of options:

If I could be a musician...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a justice on any court in the world...
If I could be a world famous blogger...
If I could be married to any current world politician...
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be an actor...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be an agent...

   If I could be an innkeeper... This is a neat thought. I like the idea of running an inn much like is commonly found in fantasy literature. The main floor would have a common room, one or two private dining rooms, and a kitchen and storeroom. The second floor would have several rooms available for overnight guests. Paid guests, that is. I guess the Bed and Breakfast is the mordern descendant of the traditional inn. Same concept with shorter hours, and only one meal to serve. It seems to me that in order to run one of those old inns (I'm thinking of those like the one described in The Highwayman), a man would have to be willing to work somewhere in the order of twenty hours a day, seven days a week. Maybe I'd want to rethink this one. Besides, I don't have a black-eyed daughter.

   If I could bea scientist... I would want to work toward the future survival of our species. Power generation is an area that needs a lot of study. Alternate energy sources, like solar power, and wind power are currently being exploited only at the most basic level. We are slowly (some would say not so slowly), and surely exhausting the natural resources of mother earth. If we want to continue to consume power the way we are doing now, we desperately need the ability to generate it in more efficient, and less consumptive ways.
   Also important are the earth sciences and space sciences areas of study. Eventually, we are going to outgrow this planet. The world population is already almost six and one half billion people, and growing at an exponential rate. According to some scientists, we have already passed the maximum population that our planet can sustain long term. We are only maintaining our current rate of population growth by consuming non-renewable natural resources far too fast. Science tells us that when a population of any organism over consumes, and depletes its resource base, a devastating population crash ensues. The most dramatic example is that of the reindeer population of St. Matthew Island, in Alaska:

Reindeer (Rangifer tarandus), introduced to St.  Matthew Island in 1944, increased from 29 animals at that time to 6,000 in  the summer of 1963 and underwent a crash die-off the following winter to less  than 50 animals.

The St. Matthew Island reindeer herd experienced a 99% die off in a single winter due to the fact that they had completely depleted the resources necessary to their continued survival. Translate this to the world population, which estimates say could exceed twelve billion before the end of this century. How would we deal with the death of over ten billion people due to starvation and disease over the course of a very short period of time? We must either dramatically reduce our per capita environmentalimpact, or we must find new resources somewhere else.

   If I could be a psychologist... I would be involved in the same area of study. I'm sure the person who originally created this meme intended for that to be taken as a practicing clinical psychologist, or a psychiatrist, but I (as I am wont to do) am going to twist it to my own devices. I touched upon the problem of rapid population growth in my previous answer. One of the things that is going to have to eventually change is our sprawling, suburban lifestyle. In the Suburban Greater Toronto Area, my neck of the woods, new homes are eating up farmland at an astonishing pace. If we don't stop, we are going to run out of land on which to grow crops. You know, food. What are we going to eat when we no longer have land to grow grains and vegetables? At some point we are going to have to stop growing out, and start growing in, and up. I can foresee a time when major cities have grown up into a series of extremely large buildings in which we will all live and work. No one will have a 'yard,' as all available arable land will be intensively farmed in order to provide for us. Picture Toronto as one big apartment building. Can you imagine the psychological pressures involved? The scientific community needs to be studying the dynamics of that situation now, so we can be ready to deal with it when it comes.

   If I could be a farmer... Last one on this topic, I swear. If I were a farmer, I would be studying ways to maximise crop yields while minimising acreage used. I would be learning all I could about hydroponics. I don't need to explain why. Just read the last two answers.

   If I could be an agent... I would be a Man In Black. Protecting the earth from the scum of the universe. Yeah, I would love that. Here's a short job description:

There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Korilian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable planet. The only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they do not know about it!

  I so want to be a Man In Black. Here, let me try out my stuff on you. "The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the lightfrom Venus. Would look right here for a moment?" There, now, when you read this entry again, stop after the part about farmers, OK?




Jaquandor, Dornbrau, and Olddog299 have now been tagged to participate. So there!

edited to add: D'oh! Olddog299 has communicated to me his previous participation in this silly game. I am embarrassed, I tell you, embarrassed to have missed that fact. As an alternate, let's see if our friend artloner is interested in playing along.