On community

  What exactly is a community? Here is a definition from Dictionary.com:

A group of people living in the same locality and under the same government or the district or locality in which such a group lives.

   That is one definition, but is the community no more than the group of houses which surround me? Or even the occupants of said houses? I have lived in my house for about 12 years. In that time I have got to know the neighbours on either side of me, and that is it. Twelve years, and I do not know a single other person on the whole street. Oh sure, I smile and say hello when I pass one of them walking the dog, but that is the extent of it. Is that community?
  Another definition reported by Dictionary.com is:

a group viewed as forming a distinct segment of society. For example, the gay community or the community of color.

   Viewed by whom? Can community be imposed from without? Bob is a black man in New York. He plays tennis on Saturdays, and takes his children to the Knicks game using comp tickets he gets from one of his company's suppliers. Linda is a black woman in Tennessee. She works two jobs and depends on the Salvation Army to help clothe her children. They have never met each other, and never will. Are they part of a common community?
  Gary is gay. He is a middle aged attorney living in a suburban community near Phoenix with his significant other, Andrew. Gary and Andrew have been in a loving, monogamous relationship together for 14 years. Tranquility is gay. He is a 24 year old drag queen who lives in downtown Toronto. He goes out clubbing every night of the week, and brings home a different guy every time. Tranquility has been arrested 12 times for disturbing the peace, indecent exposure, and possession of narcotics, among other things. Tranquility has aids. He has never informed one of his sexual partners of the fact, and has unprotected sex whenever he can get away with it. Are Gary and Tranquility a part of the same community? I don't know what Tranquility would say, but I am pretty sure what Gary would.
  The definition of community I prefer is:

an interacting population of various kinds of individuals in a common location.

   The key word here is interacting. An Internet message board is probably the twenty-first century's best new example of community. It is a common location, at least conceptually, where people come to interact. Interaction is its purpose, itsreason for being.
  It is not immune to the problems that plague real world communities. It can be cliquey. Newcomers can find it hard to gain acknowledgement and acceptance. There are always those who actively work to destroy the community. Some amount of self policing is necessary. Successful message boards all usually have the same things in common. There is a core of regular posters who tend to stay at least somewhat on topic. They are friendly and open to newcomers, and not condescending to those who ask an honest question. They are truly interested in the subject matter under discussion. On most successful message boards the moderators are virtually invisible, using just a touch here and there to keep things on course.
  Is it possible to translate that successful message board experience to our other, real life communities? Certainly, to specialised clubs and groups it is, but to the communities we live in there are difficulties. The most obvious one is the factor of unwilling residents. On an Internet message board, if a reader does not like the topic, or the company, another forum is just a click away. In our communities, there are residents who did not choose to be there, for example, the dependant family members in any given home. These are usually the children, and occasionally the spouse. As well, the reasons for one family choosing a specific community may be very different from the reasons of another.  How many people move just because they don't get along with the guy who lives across the street?
   No, in the communities 'in which we're living' (to quote Sir Paul McCartney), we must learn to get along with our neighbours; even those we don't really like. That usually means learning to bite our tongues from time to time. Sometimes, it is necessary to flat out ignore the minor transgressions of a neighbour for the sake of the general peace. This axiom also translates into the cyberspace community.
   On every message board, there will be at least one person who is a disruptive influence; who very few people like, but who just won't go away. These people are generally belligerent, protesting their right to be there, all the while being oblivious to, or uncaring of, the fact that no one likes them. It is for these people that the 'ignore' feature of message boards was created. Don't argue with them, because you can never win. Don't try to reason with them, because they will not see reason. Simply ignore them. It really is the best way.
   On the other hand, if you look at the list of people you are ignoring, and it is longer than the list of people you are talking to you should consider the possibility that they are not the problem...