I got up this morning, put on my bathrobe, poured myself a coffee, and moseyed on down to the computer room. Placing my coffee on the desk, I tapped the keyboard as I settled into the chair. Nothing happened.
What should have happened, is that the computer should have turned on. I have the Windows feature enabled that allows me to start up the computer by pressing any key on the keyboard. Thinking, perhaps, that I had not tapped hard enough, or that I had tapped between two keys, and so not registered an input, I tapped the keyboard again. This time, I made sure to strike the space bar firmly.
Nothing continued to happen.
Now, occasionally, when there has been a power interruption or something, that feature doesn't work, and I have to turn on the computer using the regular power button. I leaned over and did so.
Nothing, with an air of confident self-assuredness, smiled broadly and winked at me, letting me know that today, in matters that concerned the computer, was his day to happen.
I pressed the power button again. Nothing. I flipped the little master power switch on the back of the machine off and on, and tried again. Nothing. Just in case I was unclear on which side of that master power switch was on and which was off, I flicked it one way and popped the button on the front of the case, then switched it back and tried once more. Nothing.
I flipped the switch on the power bar off and back on again, which only served to make every other device in my computing system go haywire. I stole the power cord from my scanner, and tried it in the back of my computer tower. Palms sweating now, my hands shaking, I stabbed repeatedly at the little circular silver button with the cleverly decpetive label: "ON." Nothing leaned back, intertwined his fingers behind his head, crossed his legs, and contentedly, and uninterruptedly...happened.
Some time later my son found me sitting on the floor, hugging my knees, rocking and moaning. Addiction is a terrible thing for a child to witness.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I am addicted to the Internet
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12 comments:
Is this entry really an illustration of existentialist philosophy? If so it's genius! If not, it's still entertaining.
"Nothing continued to happen."
"Nothing, with an air of confident self-assuredness, smiled broadly and winked at me, letting me know that today, in matters that concerned the computer, was his day to happen."
Qutie profound statements if you give them the time of day.
http://journals.aol.com/easuess/madsecretary
Paul, I can't stop giggleing. Thank you. Next time I will be there to hold you and say "it's ok, it will come back".
Brandi
Uh so Paul, how did you make this entry? You can't just leave us hanging like that! LOL!
BTW Paul, I should probably tell you I do tarot readings, I believe in ghosts, I am am all into astrology, and guess what? I am still gonna read your journal! LOL! You know why? Because it is YOUR JOURNAL, a place for you to post YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS! Even if mine differ from yours, I appreciate the fact that you can share your thoughts and views! Anyway, that little schpeal from my soapbox was for the "Haters". LOL! Now get outta here and come read my journal once in a while would ya?
Kell
Imagine my own angst when the server occasionally goes down at work faster than Jenna Jameson (whoever she is) and I end up WORKING for the several hours it takes to get it back up and running!!
OH THE HUMANITY!!!
Simon
http://simianfarmer.blogs.com
Sooooo... the suspense is killing me.... What was wrong?
;) Hi. My name is Celeste...and I'm an internet addict. This is my first time here. I am very nervous. Thank you. ;) C. http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies
oh, paul, i SO understand. really. it isn't pretty to witness, and not fun to experience, but we're here for ya. grins, debra
Yeah, we've all been there--but we probably did not express our frustration this amusingly. - Karen
When the journals were down the other day and I could not go to any of my favs, I almost ordered another laptop...I just knew it was my pc...AOL was up to its' ole' tricks...making everyone in J-Land understand this portion of our life is more important than we give AOL credit for. For all the gliches, our lives would not be nearly as fulfilling.
thanks to your not so happy friend on the board I was reminded I havnt been bye for awhile. and yea I can see me completly going into a siezer if that had happend. but truely is there really help for this addiction ?
Dear Paul,
thanks! very entertaining!
nat
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