Saturday, April 14, 2007

The reason I ain't been around much

   I have indeed, as Dawn surmised, recently rejoined the ranks of the gainfully employed. I have accepted a position as a stockboy in the local Kwik-E-Mart. The hours are good - only 7:00AM to midnight Sunday through Saturday - and Mr. Ho, the owner, is paying me in fresh Vietnamese rooster eggs and cases of stale dated Pepsi, so that's OK too. The only things I'm having a little bit of trouble coming to terms with are Mrs. Ho's insistence that I wear only cut-off jeans and spandex tank tops, and her constant intercom calls of, "clean-up in aisle sexy," whenever Mr. Ho leaves the store.
   I do get an hour for lunch, and the stipulation that I take it before 10:30AM or after 3:30 PM is something I can work around. Hopefully, I'll eventually get used to the smell of livestock in the back room.

14 comments:

iiimagicxx said...

7 am to midnight, 6 days a week! you must love it!
Valerie
http://journals.aol.co.uk/iiimagicxx/surreality/

simianfarmer said...

I am simultaneously amused at the phrase "clean up in aisle sexy," and deeply disturbed at the image.  Just don't drink the squishy syrup straight up.  

Simon

princesssaurora said...

Alright... c'mon... what are the real hours... lol  

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

tenyearnap said...

Pepsi goes stale?

helmswondermom said...

Well, at least you have a valid excuse!
And I'd be careful of those rooster eggs, if I were you.
Lori

aleclynch said...

7 a.m. - midnight?  I hardly see how that's a reason for your absence. You know you do your best posts at three in the morning. So how do you like your rooster eggs?

bpslider45 said...

I keep re-reading this and wondering if whether it's a joke or you really look at this as a possible improvement.
Ahhhhh... always dream big.
I think I shall call you "Stockboy" from now on.
No desire to see the cut-offs and spandex, thank you!
The mental image alone has caused temporary (I hope) blindness.
Brent

bhbner2him said...

Congratulations on the job!  But your employers must be mistaken over the sex of their chicken.  And you really should consider filing charges for sexual abuse.  Unless you're just into that sort of thing.  - Barbara

toonguykc said...

I think I need to see a picture of you in your work clothes.  

Russ

artloner said...

You're such a shithead.

xoxo,

andi

princesssaurora said...

lol Andi... you just cut to the quick... C'mon Paul tell us the real story... you big jerk.

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

mavarin said...

What color tank tops?  And can you get them to throw in stale doughnuts and yesterday's hot dogs?

dpoem said...

What the...?  I disappear for two months and Paul gets a freaking job?!?  

-Dan
http://journals.aol.com/dpoem/TheWisdomofaDistractedMind/

bombippy said...

You kill me. Now if you said your boss' name was Apu I would know you were kidding.