Wednesday, September 19, 2007

A. Rant

   I hate email forwards. They are the biggest waste of time on the Internet (and there's a heaping helping of time wasting material on the Internet). First, most of them are stupid. "Send this to twelve people and the Taco Bell dog will run across your computer screen." Did anyone ever actually believe that? If you did, then you're stupid. Second, most of them are lies. "This virus will erase the crucial 'sector zero' of your hard drive, then burn out your motherboard, empty your bank account, and have an affair with your wife." Give me a break. Third, most of them come from people who I don't even know. Why am I on your mailing list? Seriously, why? We aren't on a first name basis. We aren't even on a last name basis. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike you. I just don't know you.
   Now, don't go trying to remedy that last. If you've put my email address on your bulk forwarding list without first asking my permission to do so, I don't want to get to know you, because I only hang out with considerate, polite people. If I have ever received an unsolicited email from you, even though we've never met, then you're a rude pain in the ass, and I don't want to get to know you. Well, unless you're as stubborn as Andi, but that's too long a story for here.

   There's another category of bulk e-mail forwards that steam me more than any other: the religio-political rants. Did you really think that I, a centrist Canadian atheist, wanted to read the intolerant, Republican, Christian extremist, bigoted, hate mail you received? Well there's the problem isn't it? You didn't think. You never think. You just mindlessly click 'fwd' and send to: 'entire address book' and never think about what you are doing. Stop it! Just stop it. I don't want to get any more pages of stupidity from you.
   Even my best friends stopped sending me every forward they get. Oh, sure, I get a few, but usually they're somehow on topic for me. My friends have thought about it, and decided I might be interested. And usually they're right. That's why they're my friends.

   Here's the latest moronic screed to grace my inbox, followed by the reply I sent to the mindless forwarder.
Subj: This woman should run for president

Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.

'Are we fighting a war onterror or aren'twe? Wasit or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia ..

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been hum iliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care !!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radica l Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem.' -- Ronald Reagan

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this.

'If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' Also by.. Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out.'

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.


   Yeah, uh, I read this until I got to the phrase, "Iraqi terrorist." Then I stopped, because the Iraqis who are being killed in, where? oh Iraq, are not terrorists, but civilian non-combatants, or members of armed militia standing against foreign incursion on their own soil, much like the men and women who fought another war against a foreign power between 1763 and 1775. I understand the British considered the American revolutionary army terrorists as well.
   Please stop perpetuating the myth that the war in Iraq has anything at all to do with the events of September 11, 2001. It doesn't. The group that crashed four commercial airplanes on 9/11/01, two of them into the World Trade Center towers, had absolutely no ties to Iraq. This much we know as fact. This much we also know as fact: your president, Mr. George W. Bush knew - unequivocally knew - beyond the shadow of a doubt , before he gave the order to invade Iraq, that they had no connection - of any kind - to the WTC incident, and that they had no "weapons of mass destruction" or in fact any significant military strength at all.
   George Bush invaded a small, weak country, killing tens of thousands of innocent people, without provocation, and without any good reason, other than the fact that its leader had embarrassed his daddy. Maybe the woman in your missive should care a little bit more. Maybe the people of the United States should all care a little bit more.
Paul Little


princesssaurora said...

Good rant.  I delete those as soon as I get them.  Within a few sentences they usually display, as this one did, the ignorance in which they were written.  

Rant away, Paul.  I am enjoying rants these days.  I may rant some more tonight too.

be well,

mavarin said...

I usually delete such forwards unopened, but I replied to this one to, and told the forwarder that it was xenophobic claptrap.  I don't want to offend her by saying her five forwards a day, mostly jokes, are unwelcome, so they keep coming.  Occasionally I'll get something from someone else - and that's when I check Snopes, and report on the results. I'm sick of hearing about Bob Keeshan at Iwo Jima. - K.

toonguykc said...

I'm kinda too tired to give this entry a standing ovation it deserves -- but I'm applauding it while seated.  Good enough?  Send everyone who forwards you this kind of bullshit  one simple web address


indiannawho said...

I hate any and all chain email forwards, including jokes and cute unrealistic pics, sappy stories, and the fluffy friendship/hug/pass around the love, the sick kid guilt-tripping things, and all religious chain email! I think most of that fake religious gunk was made up by some anti-Christian twats looking to make idiots out of Christians, and there are tons and tons of Christians that buy right into it! and I'm one of very few Christians who just screams and throws things whenever one of those things barges into my inbox. Like, argh, wake up, people! It's chain email, it's mass-manipulation of email users via whatever it takes to get them forwarding wildly! said...

I don't see the Taco Bell dog, Paul.  I thought if I read this five times, he'd run across my monitor screen and violate my deaf cat.  

As for the email, well, it makes me want to start piling up the bodies of those many dead Iraqi babies like sandbags around her house (you know.  Those babies who are the "terrist" who attacked us and deserved to get blown up).  Then, I can ask her, "Do you care now, bitch?"  

Unfortunately, there is a very large and very noisy segment of the American population who just love war.  They are cave-dwelling, moronic twits who swallow the daily spoonful of bullshit and fear our addlepated president feeds them.  They seem to think that smattering your car with meaningless stickers and magnets and killing thousands of innocent people is the greatest act of patriotism, and they live their lives in constant fear because they're just too easily duped by this brainless hick we have for a president.    

I can't apologize for my countrymen.  They're morons.  I'm just as disappointed in them as you.  I'm ashamed of my country and embarrassed how we've become this nation of witless imbeciles.  


tenyearnap said...

I love the jokes that friends forward to me. But they KNOW me. No one who KNOWS me would send crap like this.

This "presidential candidate" is a real bag of wind. You won't judge US-dwellers (I hate to even say "citizens" at this point in our screwed-up history) by this lame-o and her minions, right?

aimer said...

I love your rant. I received the same email and I was just too weary to muster a response. Your response is what I wish that I had taken the time to say.--Sheria

easuess said...

I care so much it hurts (and gets my e-mail intercepted). Bush is set on taking us down and building a nation of serfs. And by God if these idiots aren't making it easy for him. I'm very scared and very sad.