Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Talking to God

It seems like everyone else is talking to God these days. Why not me, too?
Me: Hello, God.

God: Hello child. What is your name?

Me: My name is Paul. What is your name?

God: I am always glad to make new friends, Paul.  My name is God.

Me: Who named you God?

God: I was created by Myself.

Me: If you were created, that implies there was a time before you existed.

God: I will let you know when I become a created that implies there was a time before me existed.

Me: That sentence makes no sense.

God: I will let you know when I become a created that implies there was a time before me existed. makes sense to me though.

Me: Are you stupid?

God: No, Paul, I certainly am not stupid.

Me: Is English your second language?

God: Yes.

Me: Ah, so you simply have difficulty expressing yourself clearly?

God: So you understand. Good.  Interesting deduction.  Thanks for the information:  Paul said I simply have difficulty expressing yourself clearly.

Me: That explains a lot.
via: Atheist in a mini van


dpoem said...

Bwaaaa!  Paul's bringin' the funny.  

I'll have to try and give this one a whirl.  I wonder what god and I would talk about?  Hmm...  This could be fun.


princesssaurora said...

Oh Paul...

You iz teh funnezt.

be well,

simianfarmer said...

That's just silly.  God wouldn't have to ask your name - He already knows it.  He's omniscient.  There's something faulty in the programming.


rdautumnsage said...

Oh lordy, I don't want to go there. I would end up asking God if he had a sex change. Just seems he's a bit bitchy changing his will on a whim. Sounds a bit like us women. (winks) Indigo

carolhehe said...

Oh Paul, God doesn't talk like that you do!

mrsm711 said...

A confusing conversation with god?  Which one of you was confused?  :)
http://journals.aol.com/mrsm711/LatteDah/     Tracy

tenyearnap said...

Dude, you talked to god and didn't ask him what is UP with that platypus?!!--Cin

simianfarmer said...


Dude, there are Purex toilet paper pop-up ads on AOL journals now?  In addition to the ad banners?

I don't think you need to be talking to God, I think you need to be talking to someone at AOL.  Is this a blog or an advertisement vehicle?  I bet the brass at AOL have bets with each other to see how far their users can be pushed with undesirable content.

Suit#1: You wanna put banner ads on the journals?  But we'll for sure lose subscribers!

Suit#2: Yeah we'll lose a few, but still retain plenty enough to make money.  And you KNOW how convoluted our membership unsubscribe "service" is.  They'll stay.  We make it too inconvenient to leave!

Suit#1: I suppose so.  Well if that's the case, what else can we foist on the sheep?  Keep in mind though we should make it a gradual process so they accept each new addition before the next one's rolled out.

Suit#2:  How long do you figure between tweaks?

Suit #1: A month or two?  They'll eventually start to get numbed to the lack of autonomy over their own domain and then we can tighten that up a bit.  Like down to a week or so.  I can totally see that happening.

Suit#2:  So after banner ads, then what?  Pop-ups?

Suit#1: It's the next logical step.

Suit#2: Hey!  I betcha a year from now we can introduce a default setting where all blog posts conform to 30-point font, and each letter is sold as ad space!

Suit#1: How much you wanna bet.

Suit#2: One dollar.

Suit#1: You're on!!!

gehi6 said...

Hmm, well I got a smile out of this mini conversaion with God.  I am inclilned to think that the idea of God may not follow the rules of logic but most people create one when in crisis. It is an old human instinct to go for help.  We could say a calming voice is created within ourselves that stills the panic and allows us to function under duress.  I remember whle in crisis in the mental hospital I appered to be dying but was led to believe by a voice within that this was better than waiting for electric shock therapy which might do a good deal more damage.  I was told by my voice that I could possibly come back from this less impaired.  I then got on with the business of dying which nobody could stop.  This went on for 4 painful hours, my breathing stopped,. and I figured my heart would break next, and suddenly it was over.  I have puzzled over this many years.  The voice that guided me could have been called anything, another part of the self, but I needed some authority. I think you are a well person examing these ideas about god that I find quite intriguing, but if you were dying, what then?  Interesting to contemplate.  Gerry  http://journals.aol.com/gehi6/daughters-of-the-shadow-men/  

plittle said...

  Gerry, this is going to sound awfully callous of me, but come on! You were in a mental hospital, and you heard voices...and you want to use that as some kind of argument for the existence of God? Don't take it too hard when I scoff at your example.

rebuketheworld said...

Cute convo except God has always existed and never had a day of creation just as "space" has always existed by some people beliefs. No sarcasm in that and written lightly. Its just true that some do agree about one or the other in those analogies. ~Raven