What did you have for lunch today?

  Why is it women are continually complaining that they have trouble losing weight? I'd bet that ninety per cent of those complainers cannot even tell you what they ate over the last twenty-four hours. No concept of exactly what they put into their own mouths.
  I was at the mall today (don't ask, it wasn't my idea) and while I was there I sat down in the food court to have some lunch. As I was stuffing my face full of bad sesame chicken and noodles, I paid attention to what the young ladies were ordering for their own lunches.
  There was a Cultures there, so if they wanted, they could have ordered organic bean sprout salads, or chopped tofu vinaigrette on low fat croissants. Instead, the vast majority of the women were visiting the other restaurants in the food court. What goes through their heads?
  Lets see... how about New York Fries? Could I have a poutine please? Yes, thank you, take a large serving of pure starch sticks and cook them by immersing them in pure, boiling vegetable fat. Then, throw a double handful of salt over them, top them with chunks of milk fat, and pour a mixture of boiling beef fat and flour over them.
  No, wait, I feel like something else. How about some chicken. Yes, but could you coat it with a batter that's nine-tenths sugar and salt, and boil it in oil. Thanks. I'm not really hungry, maybe I'll just eat the skin. You know, the part with the batter attached. And the fat.
  You know what? I feel like pizza. How about that? A loaf of flat bread topped with milk fat, and sliced pork fat based sausage, and a little bit of tomato sauce for flavour. Hey, you can turn that into a panzerotti, can't you? Just fold it over, pinch the edges together, and throw it in the deep fryer for me, will you?
  Oh, and a diet Coke, please.
  Hey girls, you know that liposuction your Mom just had? That was twenty years of french fries she just had removed from her hips. Think about it.