I find myself repeatedly drawn back to that last series of pictures Pamela posted of herself showing off the gifts and cards she had received. Most specifically to the picture of her sitting in bed, her lap covered with a mountain of cards, and her arms stretched wide.
I look at those pictures, of her modelling pajamas, and eyeglasses, and showing off scented candles, and it comes to me: she knew. Her time remaining was to be measured, not in years or months, but in weeks, or even days, and she knew. And what did she think of? She thought of us, her friends in the blogiverse.
This is how I will remember Pamela. I will remember her sitting there in her pink nightgown, with a little dog embroidered on it, a pile of mail in her lap, a radiant smile on her face, and her arms spread wide. Spread wide enough to encompass us all, to gather us into her embrace, to reassure us that it was all going to be OK.
It's all going to be OK. I know it. Pamela told me so.
Tags: His1desire, Pamela Hilger, Remembering Pam
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8 comments:
Oh Paul... I sit here, having never met you either, tears tumpling down my face for a woman, who I never met. The power of love, friendship and words, the connections we make with them does that to us. You found the exact right words, I, too, keep going back to those pictures, looking at them and asking the questions...and you have it exactly right.
And it will be okay, Thank you Pam, Thank you Paul.
be well,
Dawn
Yes.. it is going to be ok...
You know, I thought of those pictures too. I thought of how she wrote about her son's request in a letter. I thought of how much courage and love her pictures and words held. A wonderful woman.
It is so hard when you really care for someone to say goodbye. I didn't know her as well as you did, but I respected her very much. She had so much determination that I had faith she could overcome this. At least she is out of pain and in my heart I believe in a much better place...we, unfortunately, are lessened by her loss. Sandi
HUgggggggs Paul
yours truly
nat
She sure did. It's the pj series that is so hard.
It's gonna be ok.
atk
i've looked at those photos so many times...that she took the time and posted that entry....with all she was going through....I will treasure it always. God Bless Pam.
I'm speechless for this entry...at a loss for words in a good way because you've sum it up perfectly well.
You have a caring heart..anyone you consider friend is lucky to have you as theirs.
I applaud you for Pamela's tribute through CarnivAOL.
Gem :-)
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