Weekend assignment #12?

(John says:)
So, you ask, how did we get from Weekend Assignment #48 to Weekend Assignment #12? Well, seems like I skipped #12 at some point (probably around the 12th week of the assignments, I'd wager). And needless to say, we can't have that. So: It's Weekend Assignment #12! And all is right again with the world.

And since we're going back in time a bit to do Weekend Assignment #12, I thought we'd expand on that there:

Weekend Assignment #12: Thanks to time travel and invisibility, you can be on the spot for any important event of the last 100 years (1905 onward). Which important historical event do you choose? As a twist, if you actually were at an important historical event, you can't pick that one. Why? Because you were there already. What, you want to be there twice? Think of the paradox!

Extra Credit: Think of a piece of now-dated slang that should be brought back into circulation. Make it reasonably clean slang, please.


  John has got me thinking about landmark events. The twentieth century was full of them. Just think, in 1903, the Wright brothers made the world's first powered, manned, sustained flight. (Interesting that they had to cram three different modifiers in there to justify using the word 'first.') In 1905, Albert Einstein published his Theory of Relativity, thereby giving high school science teachers easy fodder for future messing with the heads of their students. In 1941, penicillin was first used in the treatment of human beings, extending the careers of hundreds of thousands of prostitutes. The list goes on and on.
  Frankly, I really cannot see myself being all that excited by the prospect of being a fly on the wall at any big twentieth century events. I am far more interested in the idea of witnessing the crucifixion of Christ, or the Trojan War, or a Byzantine chariot race (go Scortius!) We already know virtually everything there is to know about the previous century. Although...I wouldn't mind sitting in on the strategy meeting in which Orville and Wilbur's spin doctors worked out exactly how they were going to claim primacy in the flight thing.
  What John has done, however, is send my mind spiralling off down the coils of history, looking for significant events. Maybe not 'giant leap for mankind' significant, but 'small step for man' significant. I came up with a series of important dates in the development of Twentieth Century Man.
  How many times did the good wife of the first decade of the 1900s have to listen to her man say, "damnit, woman, you've let the ice all melt, and now my beer's warm again?" Alas, some questions have no answers. Many have solutions, though. In 1913, the first electric home refrigerator was introduced. Many people never saw the benefit of light bulbs over candles, but here...here was something they could get their heads around. Cold beer, even on weekends. It may not be clear to all, but the development of the electric fridge also led directly to the creation of Sam's Club.
  Unfortunately, man had only six short years in which to enjoy the cold beer from his new appliance. In 1919, prohibition was ratified, and he was left scratching his head, wondering what the heck that confangled new technology icebox was good for anyway. Man was forced to sneak down dark alleys, through locked and guarded doorways to get a beer after work. In doing so, he was subjected to all kinds of horrible experiences, like cigars, gambling, and dancing girls. Oh, the humanity!
  Life proceeded apace for several years before technology once again raised its angelic head into man's living room. In 1927, television was invented, and very shortly afterwards, the rerun. In 1933, prohibition was repealed, and two great things came together in living rooms across America. It was also about this time that the white, sleeveless undershirt appeared on the scene, an event for which Marlon Brando was eternally grateful.
  Only three short years after the end of prohibition, the Anheuser-Busch brewery introduced Budweiser. For many American men, 1936 is a year seared into their memory. Actually, it is seared into somewhere else. Bud farts are the worst!
  Nineteen thirty-nine is a year of revolution in the American household. That summer saw the first ever televised sporting event, a college baseball game between Columbia and Princeton. Six years later, the Boston Red Sox began televising their games with another first: beer commercials. The telecasts were sponsored by New England's Narragansett Beer. The beer has not survived, but the proud tradition they began lives on.
  In 1948, the Polaroid camera hit the market, not important to our story, but years later, a young man by the name of Gene Simmons would appreciate it. Our next significant date is 1951, when television became coloured. I could find no truth to the rumour that it took longer to catch on in the southern states. In 1962, another major stride forward was taken with the first ever international satellite television broadcast. Now Americans could annoy the rest of the world with impunity.
  All the events described above have led, inexorably to one point. Surely you know what it is. No? Think about it; televised sporting events sponsored by beer companies...
  Yes! On January 15, 1967, the first ever Superbowl was played. Man could sit on his dilapidated couch, in his wife beater shirt, one hand wrapped around a cold beer, the other hand down his pants, and say, "Life is good!" The American Male had reached its zenith.

Extra Credit: having not actually completed the work as assigned, I do not see that I qualify for any extra credit, so I am not at all pained to say I would prefer that slang that has fallen out of circulation remain out of circulation. There is always some new stupid expression waiting in the wings. We certainly do not need to resurrect any old stupid expressions.

And that is all I have to say about that. Oh, except one short message for John: (ahem) #34?